Staropramen

Sometimes in life you have to just jump into something totally new and foreign for the fun of it. I was at the LCBO closest to my apartment this afternoon and their selection is pretty damn appalling. Currently they have a sign for Smoked Oatmeal Stout but none in stock - what a tease, eh? I would've been reviewing that beer instead of this one, but I already know that one rules, and I have never ever tried this beer - Staropramen! - but it has a cool name, don't you think? I basically walked though the limited selection and picked up a beer that looked very foreign and totally new to me but also didn't look super cheap - this runs you $2.20 a tall can. Not too bad.

I'm checking out the website for Staropramen and well... do you know how to speak Czech? I sure as hell don't. I figured out how to enter my date of birth to get me in here but I have no idea what any of this really means. From what I gather though this site is actually pretty cool and I'm assuming by Histoire and Portfolio means that you'll get a good explanation of the history and selection that Staropramen has to offer.

Good ol' wikipedia has a page on Staropramen Brewery though. So, this beer is a lager, which is what I assumed (and also what I am in the mood for after a weekend of drinking just Cascadian Dark Ale, 666 Devil's Pale Ale, Winter Ale, and Imperial Stout). The brewery also produces a dark lager, a red lager, and a pale lager. Maybe I will track those down if I like this? The wiki page also explains the History, which seems to be more about who bought out the company a bunch of times and no mention of recipe or anything like that. Weird.

The beer pours out light and yellow, like honey water. Lots of head! No real whiff as you dive in for a gulp. The taste itself is rather nice. Has that light almost fruity flavour, but I only taste that because I never drink lagers or light beers, so just forget I said that if you are a big lager fan. It starts smooth and light but ends on a more bitter note. Has an interesting effect. I'm not entirely floored by the flavour, but for a non-flooring beer it's actually rather pleasant and sophisticated.

After taking a bite of a tuna sandwich, the taste of the beer has not really changed for the better. It's almost not really a beer that compliments food well. Oh well.

75 % : Decent lager, better than I expected. Not great with food. If you're a lager fan, I think you'll find it fairly sophisticated as it demonstrates a good light taste that ends with a round bitter aftertaste. Staropramen!

Flying Monkeys' Netherworld Cascadian Dark Ale

(This was originally written on November 25th - last thursday - but I only got around to editing it and posting it today - November 28th. Sorry.)

Okay, first off, let me just preface this review by saying that I have had a pretty shit night. My band practice that I just returned from was a complete failure. We went through three amps at the Rehearsal Factory because the first two failed and then I broke a string which reduced us to using the last thirty minutes to just jam some stoner/doom chords. I've also had shit sleep for the past two nights and so I feel a little out of it. I've also already had a beer at band practice - Creemore Springs Urbock - which I really need to remind myself to not buy anymore. It's not too pleasant, the alcohol content tastes way too strong for some reason and it doesn't feel like it works. Anyways. I'm in a bad mood.

However, there is my shining light, and that is Cascadian Dark Ale. Now, a few months ago my girlfriend and I were talking about how much I love beer. She asked me "If you could make your own kind of beer, what would it be?" This led me to explain a beer that I never thought existed at the time which was a combination of a dark and sweet Porter mixed with a hoppy IPA. I remembered this concoction as it was invented upon answering that question. I'm a big reader of Decibel Magazine, which is an extreme metal magazine, and they have a monthly column on beer. Back in October (November 2010 issue) there was an article on Cascadian Dark Ale (it also goes by a few other names - Indian Brown Ale, Iniquity Black Ale, Pitch Black IPA). It explained that this beer was in fact a Porter and an IPA mixed! HOLY SHIT! My dream come true! Tracking down this beer was really hard though seeing as Decibel is an American magazine and they usually talk about beers that are either American or only available in the States. I discovered that Flying Monkeys, a great brewery in Barrie, did in fact make the stuff but even after getting a good friend who resides in Barrie to go to the actual fucking brewery did not bring successful results! He was told that they were sold out but some had been shipped to a few LCBOs. So since early October I have been checking the LCBO website every few days to see if this beer could be procured from them. Finally it arrived in stock on the site and a few days later it appeared at the Yonge & Dundas LCBO (in the Atrium) so today I went on my lunch break and picked up a 6 pack. Epic. Golden fucking ticket.

Flying Monkeys is a really great brewery. They make a delicious Almost Pale Ale called Hoptical Illusions that comes in really groovy packaging and has some cool text on it too. The taste of the Hoptical Illusion is of a very classy IPA, but instead of it punching you in the face with hops, it's more of a friendly smack. This is the perfect beer to ease people into hoppy beers. This is not a Hoptical Illusion review though. I've also tried their Confederation Ale on tap at Korova Milk bar. It was okay! The packaging for this Netherworld Cascadian Dark Ale is pretty cool. Spooky, colourful, glossy, and pretty damn kooky. Really makes you appreciate the artistry that goes into not just the beer itself but the whole enchilada.

This beer pours out very dark, much like a porter, even with the beige foam. As you go in for a gulp though, you are instantly greeted with a whiff of hops. First sip, delicious hoppy darkness. This reminds me quite a bit of the amazing 666 Devil's Pale that Great Lakes puts out. Instead of leaving a sticky bitter aftertaste though, it rounds off nicely like a pleasant porter. They have really found the perfect balance between the intensity of hoppy IPA and the pleasant dark sweet taste of the Porter. This is a truly great beer. The dark porter taste is almost smoky but never overwhelms you too much.

After eating a cracker (unsalted!), which also helps cleanse my palette a bit, I take a gulp. That first sip after the food is outstanding. This is maybe one of the best beers I've had with food. I can't recommend this more. Cleansing the palette with some food and then going back in only brings out more of the pleasant porter taste and intense hops. I am so impressed by this beer. This is kind of what I expected from reading about it, but I am totally happy with that. I was excited to try this and now I pray that it will stay in stock for the next little while. Christmas is coming and I know a few people that would need this as a stocking stuffer!

95 % : Incredible. I knew from researching this beer that it was going to blow my mind and it truly did. Perfect balance of a Porter with it's darkness and slight sweetness and an Indian Pale Ale that is just overflowing with bitter hoppy intensity. Beautiful. Also outstanding with food. Can't recommend this more!

Duchy Old Ruby Ale

I've had the Duchy Traditional Ale before and it is quite a treat. So when I passed this lovely grey bottle with a sale sign underneath I grabbed it right away. The Duchy Traditional Ale is a very tasty English Ale that has a nice hoppy/malty flavour that reminds me, for some reason, of mushrooms. Now I'm not a huge mushroom fan so for those of you that read that and nearly vomited from the thought of a mushroom-flavoured beer swallow that food back down! Trust me, it only reminds me of mushrooms, it doesn't taste exactly like it. It's more like this: "Hmmm, this is a delicious beer, it's got such a unique taste, maybe it reminds me of something, maybe mushrooms, I suppose that's the closest thing I can think of that it reminds me of."

The thing is that most people I know who have tried this beer will agree with me on the mushroom thing, and they will also agree with me that it is pretty damn amazing. So do yourself a favour and try the Duchy Traditional Ale, but I'm reviewing the Duchy Old Ruby Ale and have not tried it yet.

I'm scoping the website for Duchy Originals out and there really is no description whatsoever for any of their beers. Turns out that they make a lot of different kinds of food though. You know what? That is kinda cool. Maybe their food sucks, but I'm betting that at least some of it is probably pretty decent because what I have tried of their beers so far (see last paragraph) is great.

Somehow I've managed to come across the fact that this beer I am about to try is UK's number one organic bottled ale. That's pretty good...? I do remember a past review of Wells' IPA where they claimed to be the number one imported IPA and then it turned out to be kinda crap (well just more like an English Ale, but not a great English Ale). Oh, also, Duchy Originals is affiliated with the Prince of Wales. It's on the website.

It pours out fairly golden, slight reddishness, clean looking. The first sip is quite delicious. It's very much like an English Ale but a bit sweeter and lighter. I usually wouldn't be a fan of such a light beer but this is very pleasant and sweet. Kind of reminds me a bit of a good lager mixed with a tasty amber beer. I just let my girlfriend try it and she liked it, however she also said: "I'm surprised you like it - it's very weak."

I think that is a good indication of what kind of beer this is. It's tasty and clean, seems to be of good quality, but it's not very strong or bold.

After eating a Whole Wheat Ritz cracker and then taking a sip, I'm finding that this beer becomes more like your average Ale. I'd say maybe it's better without food? Don't get me wrong, it's refreshing after food, but if you want the full flavour I think it would be best to drink this one on it's own. Usually I recommend food for harsher and more flavourful beers, so again this is just an indication of how strong the flavour is.

I would say that this is a good beer, however, it's not as good as the Tradition Ale that I've had many times from Duchy. That beer has a bit more of an interesting and stronger flavour to it.

78 % : Tasty beer, kind of like a more sweeter English Ale, or a nice crisp lager mixed with an amber ale. Clean, sweet, and refreshing. However, it's not as good as the Duchy Tradition Ale, it's not as great with food, and it's certainly a very light and weak in flavour type of beer.

Black Creek Porter

This beer is not exactly new to me. I had planned to review this beer last sunday but I purchased it on the friday and after having a few other beers I decided that I needed just one more and the Black Creek was the only one left. I do not regret this one bit. At the time I was absolutely floored by it but keep in mind that I had already drank five beers. Now, most beer connoisseurs will agree with me on this: the first few beers all taste great but after four, five, and onwards the flavour does not have as much of an impact and you almost prefer something more bland or light. Most beer connoisseurs will also agree with me that a porter is a dark and heavy beer - so not the kind of beer you want to finish a session with, especially a long session that leaves you pretty inebriated. I persevered though and did not regret it. It's not that it was a light beer, it was still heavy and dark but it tasted so delicious that it felt like the first beer. I knew I would be going back to this beer again and again and again. Hello my new Go-To Porter (I'll still love you Fuller's London Porter, but you've been somewhat replaced.)

I would say my first experience with the Black Creek Porter is a little unfair to use as a review. I'm going completely off memory and I already had quite a few beers. I like to review beers for this blog by being completely sober when I start the process and write my initial thoughts as I take my first few sips then expand from there. However, this sort of situation will happen again I'm sure because I love beer and I really don't mind drinking a really great beer multiple times.

According to the Black Creek Brewery website, the Porter was developed in the 1750s, has a heavier flavour and aroma and slightly sweeter taste, and the name probably originates in the belief that this drink was ideal for hard-working porters and labourers. Probably. That is kind of presumptuous. Oh well. The website also recommends having it on its own or with salty snacks. I almost copied and pasted the entire summary of the beer so you can see that they don't have a lot to say and that is really fine because if my memory serves me right (which it may not I was pretty drunk at the time) it is a great beer and words are not needed to describe its briliance. Also, another note, Black Creek also produces a Dark Ale, a Pale Ale, and an Indian Pale Ale. Must track down!

This stuff pours out dark brown but surprisingly clean looking with lots of carbonation and not a lot of head. First sip and it is definitely a keeper. What I love about this Porter is how it has just the right amount of flavour. First it zaps your tongue with carbonation and bitterness but doesn't overload you with too much nor does it overload with too much sweetness in the aftertaste. It's almost, dare I say, refreshing? Believe it or not, this may be the most refreshing porter I've had. Porters are similar to Stouts, which I reviewed in my last post, but they are a bit smoother and lighter.

My only complaint about this beer would be that it definitely nails the crisp, clean and refreshing take on a porter but it fails to bring anything superbly innovative in terms of other flavours. It's a great flavour, mind you, but one gets the feeling that it's somewhat standard in the flavour of a porter.

However, I just took a sip with a bite of a meatball sub (my dinner... I know I know) and the flavour gets a bit more interesting as it reacts to the food. Overall, I am enjoying this but I do not feel like I am trying something that is entirely unique or innovative, just delicious.

80 % : A great porter! Highly enjoyable! Crisp, refreshing and great with food! Just maybe not the most unique porter out there? Either way, it's still a delicious beer!

Belhaven Scottish Stout

Stouts. The mother of all beers. These are tough-as-shit beers. This is the kind of beer you don't want to run into at 2am on your way home from the Rhino in one of Parkdale's many dank alleyways that seem to stretch longer and longer as you walk down them while becoming more narrow when other strangers enter them.
Stouts are the test of a true beer drinker. Whenever I am trying to recommend more exotic beers to a novice beer drinker, I wait for them to say "Well, I actually like Guinness" before unleashing a list of tantalizing yet bitter quaffs. If they enjoy Guinness then they can handle just about everything with an open mind. Now, Guinness being the most common stout, I actually am not a big fan of the stuff. I love just about every porter that comes my way, but stouts are a force to be reckoned with.

Tonight I am going to try out Belhaven's Scottish Stout and you know what - I am damn excited. Belhavens Scottish Stout is 7% alcohol which sounds perfect for the amount of bitterness that one has to endure with a stout. The website describes the stout as "the porter equivalent of the tall dark stranger". This could be taken both ways: like a horror/suspense film or a romance. I'm really hoping for a bit of both. I want to fall in love tonight and yet be truly terrified by its violent bitterness! The website also goes on to describe its "blend of triple malts, roasted chocolate flavour and hop character". Damn damn damn. I am totally intrigued now. Not to mention that it has won a Platinum Medal in the Strong Stout category at the 2008 World Beer Championship Awards. Here's to hoping that 2008 was a good year!

I have opened the bottle and taken a whiff of the pitch black juice within. It smells like a stout alright, definite hints of coffee, however it also smells a bit like an English Ale and a bit like an Innis & Gunn. How odd? It pours out thick and black with a dark brown head of foam that you know is going to reveal a bit of heaven. First sip, wow, very intense. Definitely sweet and bitter, however it's got a bit of a salty/almost-Olive like flavour. I kept this beer in the fridge (which I know is sort of against stout rules) but it tastes warm. It's very sparkling but not exactly refreshing. The flavour is overwhelming as it begins to leave a film on your tongue. That may not sound pleasant, but trust me, it's all a part of the wild ride that is the stout.

This is a great stout. This is like a go-to stout. The flavours are sharp and the carbonation mixed with the high alcohol content gives it such an awesome kick. Like I mentioned before, it's got the malty sweetness that makes the whole experience very pleasant but it's also bitter and slightly (emphasis on 'slightly') salty. It's really interesting how the flavour differs from licking a tiny sip off the opening of the bottle and taking a big gulp. Almost night and day. Really shows the complexity of this beer, how its main flavour is sweet and malty while the body of it is a wild and hairy dark beast.

After taking a big bite of rice and then following it with a gulp of the stout I am again very pleased by the results. The bitter/salty flavours have definitely weakened and let forth the sweet coffee taste that is the winning point of this beer. It almost reminds me of a good Winter Ale. What more can I say?

87 % : Well, I went in with high expectations and came out pleased. This is one classy stout, maybe the best stout I've ever had. Has a bit of slightly-salty/Olive-like aftertaste at first but it is mostly malty sweet and coffee bitter. Great kick of carbonation and high alcohol. This one I highly recommend! Great for stout fans and great for beer lovers. I can see why it won the Platinum Medal!

Highballer Pumpkin Ale

Okay, so I don't know about you, but I tend to associate pumpkins with Halloween and Thanksgiving. So why am I reviewing a Pumpkin ale after those two holidays have already passed? I really don't know. Maybe I'm wrong but I feel like I've been seeing more of these seasonal pumpkin ales popping up after October has passed. I mean, I'm only a few days into November, but I feel like a few brands have just shown up for the first time at the LCBO. Maybe it's an American thing? Seeing as their Thanskgiving does take place in November. Still though, we're in Canada, and the pumpkin ale that I just noticed pop up is this Highballer Pumpkin Ale and it's brewed by Grand River Brewing based out of Cambridge, Ontario. So this is strange but I'll let it pass because it's just beer.

This beer is 5.2% alcohol, which isn't too bad (about average really). Comes in a 500 mL bottle and for $3.60 it's not that bad of a deal - so long as it doesn't taste like vinegar and piss. Now, from reviewing the Grand River Brewing website there's not a whole lot of interesting facts about the Pumpkin Ale. It does say though that Grand River Brewery makes malts the main focus of their brewing process. Malts are pretty tasty. I know I say I'm a hops man, but I do enjoy a good malty beer. According to the Wiki Page on Malt, it's all about germinating grain. I don't want to get too technical cause that can be pretty boring but really it's a dark and sweet kinda deal. So, I'm going into this Highballer Pumpkin Ale thinking it'll be very sweet and dark tasting. Which I generally like. Also it will be highly ballin'?

It pours out pretty clear, not really too dark. The colour is kinda neat, a clear yet dark orange. Not a lot of head though and it smells strongly of nutmeg. It tastes quite nice though. Very pleasant first sip. I'd say that what this beer nails that most pumpkin beers fail at is subtlety. A pumpkin ale that is more subtle and smooth is more appealing to me. It has similar traits to a good winter ale too because it has a very nice sweet and spiced flavour to it. Its main difference, again, is the smoothness and subtlety of flavours. I know that this review may seem a bit contradictory to my past reviews because I tend to like something bold and here I am raving about the smoothness of this beer but maybe because I know from all the pumpkin ales that I've had in the past that they are pretty damn bold in flavour and this one stands out because it is not extremely bold. Being bold by lack of boldness? I don't know. Also, it is very 'nice'. This may very be my favourite pumpkin ale.

I just took a bite of some broccoli that I roasted in olive oil for dinner then a sip of the delicious Highballer Pumpkin Ale. Not much changed, although because it is a nice subtle yet sweet beer I'm sure it would go fine with a lot of food. This is really just a treat on its own though. So very pleasant and nice indeed.

85% : Wow, really surprised with this one. Expected a thick cloudy pumpkin journey and instead got a really pleasant pumpkin treat. This is probably my favourite pumpkin ale. Clean, smooth, and subtle - which works great with this type of beer seeing how sweet and thick a pumpkin ale usually is. Highly recommend this one, I'll be sure to look out for it every fall.

Wells IPA

(This post was originally written on October 31st 2010. However it's being posted now. Deal with it.)

Okay, so maybe I'm not in the best state to be reviewing this beer but I'm going to keep that in consideration today as I take my first and final sips. Today being Halloween, last night I was out partying as a priest (my lovely girlfriend Steph as a possessed Reagan from The Exorcist) and I definitely had a lot of interesting beers. However, once I hit the St. Peters Winter Ale , that I was so excited for since it had been a favourite of mine last winter, it was all downhill. Don't worry, I'm not hungover, maybe tired and thirsty. I just had too many good beers and that Winter Ale was too sweet and dark so it practically tarred up my mouth. Once I moved onto the Creemore Springs Urbock I was kinda sick of the taste. Yes, I know, sick of the taste of dark sweet beers. It's just too sticky sometimes and it makes you long for water like you wouldn't believe. This is after four beers though and I'd say that's fair. I'm not giving up on beer! Hence this post.

I think I may have had this IPA before, but it was cheap and I didn't drink it last night so I thought it would be fun to really analyze it tonight. Wells is a pretty good brewery. I've tried the Bombardier and it's quite tasty, but you gotta be into English Ale to really appreciate it. I do definitely like English Ales, but blame it on my father for making me just a wee bit sick of them sometimes.

According to the Wells IPA website it is the leading imported IPA into Canada. Which is strange because I don't know whether that is a good thing or bad thing? Like many things in life, the one that everyone likes is not necessarily the best thing. A lot of fucking people buy Molson shit beer. Do you see what I'm saying? Nickelback has sold billions of albums (not a real statistic). Nickelback. They suck. I also have no idea who these people are that are buying these albums. The only people I know that admit to listening to Nickelback sure as hell download that stuff illegally. However, I know people first hand that proudly buy the beers that are truly the most popular. This is just how it works. So reading that Wells IPA is the leading imported IPA into Canada is not necessarily making me intrigued. It's more or less setting me up for quite possibly a very bland experience. With that being said, I'll try it with an open mind.

It pours pretty heavy into the glass. Definitely a dark amber colour (even though website says light amber). Either way, it looks fairly dark for an amber beer, but not thick or anything. It also smells like an English Ale. So much so that I am instantly reminded of my girlfriends' work - an English Pub called Elephant & Castle. Go figure! Nice carbonation, very tingly. Not a whole lot of flavour, just a bitter aftertaste. I guess that is what they call "hoppy"? It's got such a subtle aftertaste of hops that I can't outright dislike it. However, the beer it kinda reminds me of is Stella Artois (The Most Overrated Beer Of All Time). It's really rocking that English Ale taste though. It's been awhile since I've had the Wells Bombardier (which I remember being better than this) but I'd wager that this IPA is the hoppy version of Bombardier. Just replace the malty taste of a Bombardier with a hoppy bitter after taste. Yeah, I'm disappointed.

It's very smooth and clear, which seems to be the rage these days. Another beer that says on the can "Brewed with Natural Mineral Water". It tastes like that, I suppose, but I fail to see why this is such a desirable quality for a beer. I like the idea of a beer being unfiltered, pure, hearty, full of chunks. Yeah, okay, maybe not chunks, but full of something - not lacking something.

Still, as I gulp more of this, I do see some of its redeeming qualities. If you approach it like an English Ale, it is kind of interesting and goes back smooth. I don't know if I'd recommend this to anyone except for the fact that it is cheap ($1.95) and it is decent as an English Ale with a subtle twist of IPA-ness. (Probably shouldn't say IPA-ness out loud, it sounds really weird.)

65% : It's not bad, it's not great either. For an IPA... okay, just don't even think of it is an IPA and more of just a slightly hoppy English Ale and you'll taste its redeeming qualities. It's also cheap.